A 2,100-mile solo road trip with purpose
I strengthened my relationships — and my faith — during visits to six Michigan cities.
Earlier this month I spent a week traveling from Charlotte to Michigan and back — driving more than 2,100 miles solo. It was more than 40 hours of driving with just me and my podcasts.
That might sound horrible to some of you, but I loved it mostly because I had the opportunity to stop in six Michigan cities and spend many, many hours having one-on-one conversations with three family members and three old college buddies.
I’m a big-time evangelist for people having one-on-one conversations and joining small groups. It’s one of the most healthy things we humans can do, and my trip provided more evidence for that theory.
I made this trip for two reasons:
My oldest son, Joe, and I are both big Michigan football fans, and we decided to meet in Ann Arbor for a game. He flew in from Minneapolis. I decided to drive because I saw the trip as an opportunity to visit some other people along the way.
I wanted to see one of my college roommates, Greg Miller, who lives with his wife in Grand Rapids. We’ve kept in touch since we graduated from Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo 42 years ago. But the idea of a visit became more urgent this summer when I learned that he has early-onset dementia.
With those bookends, I started planning a driving schedule that would take me to see other people important in my life, and I was honored that everyone was glad to make time for me.
Stop 1: Coldwater, Brian and Sandy Sexton
My first stop was the farming town of Coldwater, which is near the Indiana border. I spent three hours on a Wednesday with Brian and Sandy Sexton, who grew up there, got married at 20, and moved back after Brian graduated from Western Michigan.
Brian and I lived on the same dorm floor for two years, studied business management together, and played lots of backgammon. I was a groomsman for Brian and Sandy’s wedding.
Brian worked as an executive at a manufacturing plant for many years before “retiring” and taking up farming. No, not a hobby farm. But 1,000 acres of corn, soybeans and wheat plus lots of big equipment.
It was fun to see the farm operation he has built with one of his sons, and even more fun to talk about our Christian walks.
I had no faith in college, and Brian had a surface faith that he kept quiet.
But Brian became much more serious about his walk in his senior year when he was assigned to staff an empty office by himself for a few hours one day and discovered a Gideon Bible in a desk drawer. He then spent the next couple of hours reading the New Testament.
The Holy Spirit is always unpredictable.
Since then, Brian and Sandy have lived lives dedicated to Jesus. It’s obvious in everything they do.
Stop 2: Traverse City, Jeff Stych
I grew up in Traverse City and my parents lived there for nearly 60 years before they died recently. My brother and his wife still live there, as does my 34-year-old nephew, Jeff.
My brother wasn’t available on this trip, but I drove up there Wednesday evening anyway to have a one-on-one dinner with Jeff, who is a podiatrist in the city.
I’ve known Jeff for 34 years, but had never had a substantial conversation with him. I think this is common in many families because we have a hard time breaking away from the group dynamics of gathering for special events like Thanksgiving, weddings, funerals and birthdays.
Jeff and I never lived close to each other. I’ve always lived at least 500 miles from him, meaning that we usually saw each other once a year — maybe twice — and always with his parents (and often his sister) joining us. Then you have to add Anne and my three children to the mix.
So we had lots of time in the same room, but rarely if ever any time alone where we could build a relationship.
It was great to spend a couple of hours with him over burgers and beers — even if he is a Michigan State fan. 😃 We talked about his podiatry practice, his girlfriend, his parents, his dog, his plans for the future. It also was fun to reminisce about my parents — his grandparents.
Early in the evening he asked, “Tell me about our family’s religious history.” That was a big door that he opened wide and I was happy to run through. 😉
The next morning (Thursday) I drove north onto the Old Mission Peninsula to peek at my childhood house and to visit my parents’ graves. We sold my parents’ house a year ago after my Dad died, and there was plenty of evidence in the front yard and driveway that an active family was enjoying the home.
Stop 3: Grand Rapids, Greg and Beth Miller
I spent most of Thursday with my old college roommate Greg Miller.
I learned a couple of months ago that he is suffering from early-onset dementia. He is only 63. The Holy Spirit clearly was nudging me to go see him.
Greg is a special friend to me in many ways. Most importantly, he played a small but pivotal role in my salvation. Greg, like Brian in Coldwater, was a quiet Christian in college. And when I started investigating Christianity in my late 20s, he directed me to Bible Study Fellowship, where I first heard the Gospel and immediately was saved.
Greg was my Andrew — the disciple who was always introducing others to Jesus. Imagine God making his plans: “Greg, you’re going to have this phone conversation with Ed, and your advice will lead him to me.”
Greg and his wife, Beth, are open to talking about his disease. Greg says he struggles to do math in his head — and even on a calculator. It’s hard for him to remember facts sometimes. He no longer drives.
But I was relieved to discover that Greg is still Greg. He still has the same dry sense of humor. He remembers stories about the past as well as anyone. He can easily debate about theology. He can describe to me how he fixed something in his 150-year-old church or the details of how he’s carving a frog out of a 100-pound chunk of limestone.
And Greg and I went to a driving range and hit golf balls. And we ate pizza with Beth. And the three of us talked and laughed too far into the night about everything. And it all seemed so normal.
Except I know it’s not normal for Greg and Beth. As some say, they have a “new normal” that they must navigate. Lord have mercy.
Stop 4: Montrose, Caitlin and Nate McKenzie
I picked Joe up at the Detroit airport Friday afternoon, and we drove about an hour north to Montrose to see Anne’s niece, Caitlin McKenzie, her husband, Nate, and their two young sons. I guess Caitlin is my niece-in-law — except no one ever talks that way.
Montrose is about 30 minutes northwest of Flint. Anne was born in Flint and grew up in nearby Flushing. Anne’s older sister, Julie (who is Caitlin’s mother), lives in Flushing with her husband, Jim.
But just like the situation with my brother, Julie and Jim weren’t available on this trip, giving Joe and me an opportunity to enjoy an evening with Caitlin and Nate on our own.
This was the first time I had an opportunity to talk to Caitlin in her 35 years without having other relatives around us, and she and Nate were so eager to share their stories with us.
Every time you add a person to the conversation, the conversation changes. It doesn’t matter who the extra person is.
And in the case of people like me who are somewhat introverted, I get more and more quiet as the group gets larger. I find that there are a lot of people who empathize with that.
Stop 5: Ann Arbor, Joe Stych
Joe and I spent 48 hours together, including about seven hours in Ann Arbor for the Michigan-Minnesota game.
It was wet, as you can tell by this photo:
It rained all day, but we had a great time checking out the tailgating, watching the Michigan band march down the city streets into the stadium, and cheering on the Wolverines to a victory (despite a horrendous second half).
We also took the time to catch up on life and have a couple of important discussions — all of which is hard to do when you have toddler grandchildren (Joe’s kids) running everyone ragged 😃, as is usually the case when we see each other.
Stop 6: Romulus, Mike Mooney
After dropping Joe off at the Detroit airport on Sunday morning, I drove a couple of miles to a Big Boy restaurant in Romulus, where I had a three-hour breakfast with Mike Mooney, another friend from college.
This was another God-incidence. Mike and and his wife, Sharon, live in the Los Angeles area, but I learned from another buddy that they were going to be in Michigan visiting family the same time that I was going to be there.
Mike’s and my faith stories track closely. We both became believers in our late 20s, and we both have stayed passionate about Christ through the decades.
We talked about our Christian walks and our ministries. Mike is a talented musician who writes Christian songs and has been a worship leader from time to time. Click here to hear his latest song.
He also has a ministry called “Christ, Cars and Coffee,” where dozens of men meet on Saturdays in the Los Angeles area to share the Gospel through the love of classic automobiles.
The trip home
After Mike prayed over me in the parking lot, I started the 10-hour drive back to Charlotte.
It was a joyous trip. Every conversation I had was too short. They each lasted hours, but I wanted all of them to continue. I wanted to know more about their stories and their passions and their hopes for the future.
But as Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”