Praying with the HVAC repair guy
Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another "What?! You too?!" (C.S. Lewis)
I talk a lot about the benefits of one-on-one conversations where two people can dig into life a couple of layers below our typical surface-level chats.
Most of those conversations are planned. We pick a date a week out for coffee or breakfast and put it on our calendars. Then we ask difficult questions of each other and have interesting conversations.
But sometimes those conversations happen out of the blue with someone you just met.
That’s what happened to me last month when “Jack” came to our house to repair our air conditioner — which seems to need repairing at least once a year.
Looking back, my conversation with Jack certainly seems like a God-appointed meeting.
Our AC went down on a Friday afternoon — 18 hours before Anne and I were to leave on a 17-day trip to the Midwest. Our daughter and son-in-law were going to stay at our house with our dog and their two dogs, so we needed AC for them in what was expected to be a typically hot North Carolina August.
Our HVAC company has been good to us over the years, but they are often backed up and it usually takes a day or so to get a visit. When I made my call to them on Friday afternoon, I was expecting them to schedule us for Monday.
So I was surprised — shocked? — when I immediately got a callback from Jack.
“I just got done with a job,” Jack said. “I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”
As Jack and I looked at the AC unit outside our house, I asked about his family (wife, four adult children, including twins), where they live (nearby, but he and his wife hope to move to the North Carolina coast in a year or two. Maybe the Wilmington area), and about his job (relatively new to the company, which he says takes good care of him).
As most of these surface conversations go, everything was “fine.” Good kids doing well in college, making their way in life, etc.
I mean, we all have problems, but with most people — most of the time — everything is “fine.” We’re not going to show our weaknesses or our pain.
But Jack talked about his oldest son, Christopher, a bit differently. He made a few “I love him to death, but …” statements.
Christopher had graduated from a local college but now was living with his parents and had little motivation to move on with life.
That’s when the Holy Spirit started nudging me: “Say this thing that Jack would never expect to hear from a stranger so you can deepen the conversation. I know it doesn’t make sense, but trust me on this.”
So I did.
“You know, Jack, last year I worked with a woman who has a nonprofit that educates teens and parents on the negative effects of marijuana,” I said. “It’s legal in many states now, but the THC levels in pot are so much higher than when we were in college. It’s a different game. Her son smoked a lot of weed and developed psychosis and died jumping out a window because he thought the mob was after him. He was 19.”
Jack stopped working for a moment and bowed his head.
“That’s exactly what Christopher has been going through,” he said.
Jack said his son developed a marijuana habit in college. After graduation, he had trouble holding jobs. Then one day he went missing. They didn’t know where he was for six months, until one day they got a call from a woman at a church in Connecticut.
Christopher had been homeless for six months and somehow meandered from North Carolina to the Northeast. He was shirtless on a winter day when he walked into that church looking for help.
Christopher is back home and healing, but he has a long ways to go. Jack said he had never heard of the marijuana-psychosis connection, but he said it described how his son had been acting. When Christopher was in Connecticut, he didn’t trust anyone and was paranoid that the police were tracking him.
As Jack wrapped up his work, I told him I would pray for Christopher.
Jack is a Christian and was grateful for my prayers. I have yet to meet anyone — Christian, Hindu, Jew, atheist or anyone else — who didn’t appreciate it when I tell them I’m going to pray for them and their circumstances.
People — especially strangers — aren’t going to open themselves up unless they trust you. Jack didn’t know me and had no reason to trust me until I said something that made Jack think, “You, too?”
It’s a reminder of a great quote from C.S. Lewis in his book “The Four Loves.”
“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too?’”
Lots of times that could be “You grew up in Michigan too?” or “You’re a Celtics fan too?”
And sometimes it’s something like, “You lost a child too?” or “You and your husband are going to counseling too?” or “You have anxiety too?”
Yes, me too — and us too — and you too. Those are the friendships that sometimes develop out of difficult conversations and can lead to solutions and healing.
Footnote
One of the most alarming concerns about today’s high-THC marijuana is its potential connection to serious mental health issues, such as psychosis and schizophrenia. Research suggests that the group most vulnerable to these risks is young men, ages 16-25.
While not every individual who uses marijuana will develop these conditions, studies indicate that high levels of THC consumption can exacerbate the symptoms in those predisposed to these disorders or even trigger their onset.
To learn more about the harms of THC in today’s marijuana, visit Johnny’s Ambassadors at johnnysambassadors.org