The day my pastor sent me a knife
The unexpected gift made me rethink what I treasure.
When I opened the small package from Pastor Kyle, I wasn’t expecting to find a knife inside. A letter, sure. Maybe an invitation, a note of encouragement, or a reminder of something coming up at church. But a knife? That was unexpected.
As I read his words, though, it became clear: this wasn’t just about a knife. It was about surrender. About repentance. About reorienting our hearts toward what truly lasts.
Pastor Kyle wasn’t just giving something up — he was teaching, leading and challenging those of us men who received his letter (and knives) to examine our own attachments. What do we truly treasure? What are we holding onto that may be holding us back?
His words spoke to me. Maybe they’ll speak to you, too.
Kyle was our pastor at Good Shepherd Anglican Church in Cornelius, N.C., for a decade. Anne and I had been attending Good Shepherd for less than two years when he sent pocket knives to me and several other men in the church in 2016.
These knives were from his personal collection — a collection he was now giving away piece by piece as he worked to follow the commands of Jesus.
Here is the letter in its entirety. And here’s a link to what the letter looks like.
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Jesus to his disciples, Matthew 6:19-21
Dear Brother,
As I began preparing for this week's sermon, I quickly realized that I was neither trusting nor obeying Jesus in this particular teaching, that I was investing inappropriately in temporal things, setting my heart on the things of earth and, as a result, serving money rather than God. Because I really do want my heart to be set on the things that last forever, I have had to repent — and am in the process of repenting — in various ways when it comes to money.
One specific way relates to my tendency to collect certain things, to accumulate more and more items for the sheer purpose of having more of them. I get this habit and prefer this hobby honestly, as my dad collected almost everything he could: coins, stamps, baseball cards, Beanie Babies, lottery tickets, tools, old tires, Volkswagen buses, suits and ties and cuff links, sports memorabilia, cologne bottles... I could go on and on.
Over the years, I have learned for the most part to recognize this tendency and to keep it in check. As I've realized this week, though, there are a handful of things that I have found a way to rationalize collecting despite knowing Jesus' teaching on earthly treasures. Case knives are one of those things, and I knew it the moment I experienced a deep pit in my stomach at the thought of getting rid of them. They've become too important to me and, like I said, I really do want my heart to be set on the things of God.
As a result, l'd like to give you this treasure of mine in hopes that you will carry it and use it for all of the things in life that call for a well-made knife. That said, the very last thing I want to do, of course, is to repent in such a way that creates a stumbling block for you. So, if you already have a good pocket knife or for some other reason don't see yourself using this one, then maybe you could give it to someone special in your life who could use it. And if that's no good either, then you could always sell it on eBay and invest the profits in something eternally significant. Totally up to you and the Lord.
Ultimately, my hope and prayer are that you will accept it as a gift from me to you — from someone who treasures you and our relationship in the family of God far more than he values his Copperlock collection — and that my repentance will inspire you to examine your own life against all of Jesus' teachings on money in much the same way.
Yours,
Kyle+
I turned the knife over in my hands, feeling the weight of it — not just the steel and bone of its handle, but the significance of the gift itself.
It was a good knife, and it was clear this wasn’t something Pastor Kyle had given away lightly. This was something he had spent time and money accumulating. Something that had meant a great deal to him.
But Kyle also had come to understand that nothing of this world compares to the treasurers of heaven — and he wasn’t going to allow an earthly keepsake get in the way of his relationship with Jesus.
So he chose to repent — not only in thought but in action. He began to let go. To release. To trade his earthly treasure for something greater. And as part of that process, he sent out these letters and knives — not just as gifts, but as reminders and challenges.
I still have that knife. I keep it on my sometimes-disordered desk, and it catches my eye on occasion. It’s a reminder of what is truly valuable in this life.
What are you holding onto that is getting in the way of a deeper relationship with the Lord of the universe?